From 'cabbage' to 'soft pear': Ten Swiss-German insults you need to know
The Swiss-German language is known for its creativity along with its penchant for the weird.
Here are ten Swiss German insults, put-downs and swear words that you can keep in the top drawer for a special occasion.
Schnure/Schnorre - as in "Halt d'schnorre"
Translating literally as ‘mouth’ or ‘trap’, Schnure/Schnorre is frequently used in common with ‘halt die...’ - i.e. shut your trap.
Existing somewhere in between ‘shut up’ and ‘shut the hell up’, it’s best saved for comfortable situations where you know the intended recipient.
Mainly popular in the canton of Jura and surrounding regions, it can mean limp beak (as in a duck’s beak) but in reality it means limp penis.
We should probably leave it there - just keep in mind that this is less a medical condition and more of something someone might yell at a football game, so be careful when talking to your doctor.
As a relatively religious country, at least traditionally, it stands to reason that insults involving religion have found a foothold - as blasphemy-loving English speakers no doubt know.
The best possible translation is probably ‘goddamnit’. As with pretty much anything in Swiss German, there are loads of variations - including Gopfertoori, Gopfridstüdeli, Gopfertami, Gopferteli.
This insult – based on a real Swiss surname and probably inspired by a real Swiss Bünzli – applies to those boring people who follow all the rules and make sure everyone else does too.
A Bünzli is the sort of person who would never cross the street when the light is red, who never stays out too late and never gets too drunk.
A Bünzli is also the person most likely to complain to the building president when you dare to do your washing on Sunday, or to ring the police when he sees someone parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The best English translation is probably a 'goody two-shoes', although in this case the more likely attire is socks paired with Adiletten. Yep, you get the idea.
Socks and sandals - topping the Bünzli fashion trends for the tenth year running. Image: Depositphotos
Translating perhaps most literally as ‘beanpole’, a Lulatsch is someone - usually a man - who is tall, clumsy, most likely sloppy and with little control of their limbs.
There are few theories on the origin of this word, but safe to say that if someone refers to you as a Lulatsch, they don’t mean you’re tall, dark and handsome.
Translating literally as mentally undernourished, this one probably doesn’t need too much more of an explanation.
When it comes to taking care of your brain, the Swiss believe you are what you eat - and if someone says you’re mentally undernourished, they’re saying you’ve been pigging out on junk food.
This guy has the right idea - sort of. FRANCK FIFE / AFP
Remember, friends don’t let friends forget brain day - so remember to take good care of your most vital organ.
Which brings us to…
Literally translating as ‘soft pear’, a Birreweich is someone who doesn’t have it all together upstairs. Unlike in English where your brain might be your noggin or your noodle, in Swiss-German your brain is otherwise known as your ‘pear’.
So if a friend calls you a soft pear, it unfortunately doesn’t mean the opposite of geistig unterernährt (mentally undernourished). It means your friend thinks your brain is mush - and it also means you should get some new friends.
Meaning cabbage in English (or Weißkohl in high German), Kabis is also slang for nonsense. If someone says “don’t give me that Kabis!” they’re unlikely to be referring to foodstuff.
In the same vein, Pfyffetechu/Pfyffedechel (tobacco pipe lid) also means nonsense - so now you’ve got two variations.
Nonsense, delicious nonsense. FREDERICK FLORIN / AFP
This Swiss-German insult - which is also common throughout much of Germany - is similar to the terms 'bimbo' or 'blonde' in English. This term is reserved for the kind of person who might care a little too much about their appearance and less about pretty much anything else.
It’s also undoubtedly sexist, as it’s rarely if ever used for men.
Apparently inspired from the legend of Tusnelda, Tussi entered the Swiss-German and German mainstream vernacular in the 1990s and has stubbornly remained.
Honourable mentions: Joggi, Globi, Löli, Tschooli, Glon
While some of the above might get you into trouble, depending on the company you keep - there are plenty of light Swiss insults which are likely to build friendships rather than destroy them.
Each of the above - Joggi, Globi, Löli, Tschooli and Glon - are all relatively nice ways of saying someone is silly, without really saying that they are that silly at all.
Joggi, which literally means jester, while Glon is a translation for clown. Löli and Tschooli means that someone is nice but clumsy, while Globi is perhaps Switzerland’s most beloved cartoon character - a blue parrot in a black beret who has a knack for getting himself into silly situations.