Of the two, the written rules are much easier to follow, simply because they are, well, written. You can familiarise yourself with them and make sure you comply.
The unwritten rules are the ones you should worry about. You learn them from experience (sometimes a bitter one), but it is important to master them because the last thing you want is to commit a faux-pas and insult a Swiss person in the process.
This article will give you an idea of what we mean:
READ ALSO: Eight unwritten rules that explain how Switzerland works
So here are 10 insults that will not win you any friends and, furthermore, demonstrate something the Swiss absolutely hate: that you are NOT INTEGRATED! (That is about the worst mistake, beyond committing a crime, that a foreigner can make).
Criticise Switzerland
The Swiss are proud of their country — and rightly so. Therefore, one of the absolute worst things people can do is to insult Switzerland.
Having a measured discussion about various topics is one thing, but being rude about the country will not win you any friends.
Compare the Swiss to their neighbours
The Swiss are known for feeling a bit superior to just about everyone else, so if you tell someone that anything French / German / Italian / Austrian is better, that’s an insult right there.
At the same time, scores of Swiss living in border regions regularly go shopping in neighouring countries because the food is cheaper there. There is an obvious paradox here, but it is better not to mention it.
READ ALSO: Why do the Swiss think they are superior to everyone else?
There is, however, one exception.
If you absolutely must compare Switzerland to another country without insulting anyone here, choose Sweden.
Not only do some foreigners think the two countries are one and the same (they aren’t), but also one survey indicated that, given a choice, the Swiss would rather have Sweden as their neighbour than any other EU country.
READ ALSO: Swiss pick Swedes as ideal neighbours
True, the survey in question was carried out in 2014, but there is no indication the Swiss feel any different today.
So while the Swiss generally look down at all foreigners, mentioning Sweden in this context would probably not be quite as offensive.
And by the way, the Swiss also have no beef with their other neighbour, Liechtenstein.
Maybe it is because the principality is even tinier than Switzerland, or perhaps because people there speak Swiss German and use franc as their currency (so it is basically like a mini version of Switzerland), but the fact is that they won’t be insulted if you mention Liechtenstein in their presence.
Attempting to get overly-friendly too soon
You must know by now that it is not easy to make friends with the Swiss people, especially the older generation,
Anecdotal and observational evidence suggests that it takes about five years and 250 steps to make a Swiss friend. Trying to get friendly with a Swiss quicker than that is a strike against you.
Above all, don’t be too chatty, reveal too much information about yourself, or — even worse — ask too many personal questions about them.
They will likely perceive this as a violation of their privacy.
Relying on social assistance
Quite a few Swiss are of the opinion that some foreigners come to the country expressly to live off welfare.
They don’t mind as much when Swiss people depend on social aid, but when a foreign national is involved, that gets some people's goat (or a cow, as the case may be).
That’s because not supporting oneself financially is seen as a sign of laziness — a very offensive quality to the Swiss.
Making fun of Switzerland’s language(s)
One foreigner we know told a Swiss-German friend (now an ex-friend) that his language sounds like "bastardised Dutch".
To make matters worse, this was said by an immigrant from Germany.
Needless to say, such a comment is offensive to a Swiss German (who looks down on his German counterparts anyway).
On the other hand, if you learn to speak this language, even imperfectly, you might just make a friend or two — but you will have to wait five years.
Making noise on Sunday
If you work the whole week, it is understandable that you want to do some chores on Sunday.
But not in Switzerland.
Sundays are considered rest days so your neighbours’ peace and quiet should not be disrupted by a sound of a lawn mower, hedge cutter, or nail being hammered into a wall.
Being loud in your apartment, or outside it, is offensive on any day of the week, but on Sunday it is worst of all.
READ ALSO: Six things you shouldn't do on a Sunday in Switzerland
Using common laundry facilities inappropriately
People who live in apartment buildings often have to share laundry facilities, with each tenant being assigned a day and a time when they use the machines.
You must strictly adhere to the schedule, otherwise you will get a not-so-friendly note from the building manager or your neighbours, reprimanding you for not sticking to the timetable.
And laundry room etiquette also dictates that I should thoroughly lean the washer and dryer after you use them, not leaving any residues in either.
Not throwing out / disposing of your trash correctly
It probably comes as no surprise to you, given how well organised the Swiss are, that they have strict regulations on how to throw away trash in an environmentally correct manner.
READ ALSO: What are Switzerland's rules for waste disposal and recycling?
Not following those rules will not only anger your neighbours, but you may even be slapped with a fine.
That's because municipal ‘trash inspectors’ occasionally examine the contents of incorrectly bagged or deposited garbage bags in their communities (yes, that is a thing in Switzerland).
READ ALSO: Why the Swiss government rummages through your garbage
No, not that zipper.
From 2021, the zipper principle is mandatory wherever two lanes merge into one on the motorway or any road, for that matter.
This means that each car traveling in the free lane must leave room for one vehicle to merge from a blocked lane.
This rule is intended to prevent vehicles from merging into the free lane in a decidedly un-Swiss chaotic and haphazard manner, disrupting the flow of traffic and possibly causing accidents.
So the message here is: zip it up!
Peeing standing up at night
OK so this one does involve that zipper. The question over whether Switzerland allows people (more likely to be men) to pee standing after 10pm has been circulating for years.
The Local researched this and you can read our full article below). But it's safe to say that peeing standing up could be considered a noise-based nuisance to other apartment building residents.
That's because between the hours between 10 pm and 7 am are designated as national quiet time, meaning that no loud noises are allowed anywhere in the country.
However, nobody can outright forbid peeing during the night.
In general, though, Swiss law requires tenants to be considerate of other residents in the building.
So it's best to do whatever you can to stay quiet at night. Although we're guessing peeing would be a lot better than, say, playing techno music loudly at 2 am.
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